Wednesday, March 12, 2014

A Complaint About Magazines

Yup. I'm super trendy and relevant. So, magazines. I like you. I really do. I may not read you as much as I read books or articles online but otherwise I'm a great customer. I will subscribe to magazines I like and more often than not, if I have the time, I will read them from cover to cover. Yes, I will read all the nonsense you put in clusters around the page in teeny, tiny font. I will read the long, pretentious articles about politics or technology that are really just glorified opinion pieces full of big words. 

But you know what will make me stop reading? Interruptions. Distractions. I'm not talking about the phone ringing or realizing that it's 8:00 pm and there's a show I want to catch on TV. I'm talking about you, magazines. You're interrupting the flow of your own articles. I understand that sometimes and article is really long so you might want to put the last two or three pages at the back. I might not like it, but I can deal with it. I don't understand letting me read one page of a story and then putting in three ads before I can read the next page and then putting in four more ads until the next page. You are severely overestimating how interesting I find the story I'm reading and giving me a lot of time to consider doing something else. Do you not want me to look at the ads? Because if that's your goal, fine. I can skip right over the ads to get to the next
page of the story so I can finish reading the sentence you so rudely interrupted before I forget what the whole article was about. Do you want me to look at the ads? Because if you do, then you must not actually care whether I read the story because I've completely forgotten what it was about once I've finished looking through pages of ads. 

Why are you doing this, magazines? This idea is terrible. Really, truly terrible. I'm beginning to think you're lying about those statistics about people reading more magazines than ever. Unless everyone else just enjoys being abused by the print media they consume. Which, you know, whatever makes you happy.

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